Assignment:
Please translate the following song lyrics from ebonics to standard English.
Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
Album: Ready to Die
Song: One more chance (remix)
First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan' But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation Garbage, I turn like doorknobs Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever However, I stay coochied down to the socks Rings and watch filled with rocks
TRANSLATION:
As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all
kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude
magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters
with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact
that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of
course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely
unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with
some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my
fancy and expensive jewelry.
Lyrics:
And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit
TRNSL:
I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women
enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see
me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American
reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women
attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to
divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.
Lyrics:
Don't see my ones, don't see my guns - get it
Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
I don't know what the hell's stoppin' ya
I'm clockin' ya - Versace shades watchin' ya
Once ya grin, I'm in game, begin
TRNSL:
Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my
weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in
violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates,
the Junior Mafia. I'm having some difficulty understanding why
you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact
with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond
with a smile, I will approach you.
Lyrics:
First I talk about how I dress and this
And diamond necklaces - stretch Lexuses
The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the
Climax that your man can't make
Call and tell him you'll be home real late
Let's sing the break
TRNSL:
I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe
and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars.
This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse
with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter
you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I
understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He
needn't be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and
inform him that you won't be home for a while. By the way, please
sing the chorus of the song for me also.
Lyrics:
She's sick of that song on how it's so long
Thought he worked his until I handled my biz
There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans
Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan
Schemin' - don't bring your girl 'round me
True player for real, ask Puff Daddy
TRNSL:
Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications
about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with
your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is
supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in
your best interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is
very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.
Lyrics:
You - ringin' bells with bags from Chanel
Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel
Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell
She beeped me, meet me at twelve
TRNSL:
Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with
bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model
Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle)
containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has
contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous
at midnight.
Lyrics:
Where you at? Flippin' jobs, playin' car notes?
While I'm swimmin' in ya women like the breast stroke
Right stroke, left stroke what's the best stroke
Death stroke - tongue all down her throat
Nuthin' left to do but send her home to you
I'm through - can ya sing the song for me, boo?
TRNSL:
You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain
payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman.
Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit
lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to
request that they leave my home and return to you because I have
reached orgasm and no longer have a need for their presence.
Lyrics:
So, what's it gonna be? Him or me?
We can cruise the world with pearls
Gator boots for girls
The envy of all women, crushed linen
Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in 'em
The finest women I love with a passion
Ya man's a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin'
TRNSL:
The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your
sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will
dress you in the finest jewelry and footwear. You will be envied by
women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelry. There is a
special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man
in an altercation because he is effeminate.
Lyrics:
High fashion - flyin' into all states
Sexin' me while your man masturbates
Isn't this great? Your flight leaves at eight
Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds
Lyrically I'm supposed to represent
I'm not only the client, I'm the player president
TRNSL:
You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will
fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelry. You
will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to
pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I'll
return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock flight. The
timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second
woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock. I'll seduce her in
the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive
reflection of my hometown. Not only am I a sexually deviant,
misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the
board of directors of the organization that governs others of my
kind.